This girl Chloe was very relatable person to me, but at some point dialog between 2 girls felt like a monologue. Even though, the ending is quite nice. I thought it will be much more darker honestly. It's probably a problem of having short plot twist, you could give more attention to other girl too, because she felt more like npc that just says basic stuff. Overall I liked this game (was searching through games made with defold engine)
Thank you for playing and for your feedback. I wrote this novel mostly to see how well I do at all the steps to create a finished project, and where I need to get better, so I appreciate honest criticism. Writing dialogue and drawing characters were the hardest parts, so I will work on those for my next project.
With Melancholica, I basically started writing from the end, and wrote the scenes before to fit that. Which works well for mystery, but for slice of life, it is important to make the dialogue flow naturally. As a reader, I thought those scenes are mostly there to fill time between events, but actually they are just as hard to write as plot heavy scenes, if not more so.
So for my next big project, I'm trying my best to fix those issues. I hope I can show my progress here next year or so.
I can't say it was bad though, it just gave me a weird vibe. Like I really believed at some point that both protagonists were the same person and having a brain meltdown !
The drawing was cute also ~
I'm following what you do anyway - eager to see more ! :)
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This girl Chloe was very relatable person to me, but at some point dialog between 2 girls felt like a monologue. Even though, the ending is quite nice. I thought it will be much more darker honestly. It's probably a problem of having short plot twist, you could give more attention to other girl too, because she felt more like npc that just says basic stuff. Overall I liked this game (was searching through games made with defold engine)
Very sweet ending there. Chloe is gender tbh. Good read overall and I adore the look of the game
This is fantastic.
Playing this reminded me of why I want to make games too.
I hope I can make something this awesome someday.
Thank you, this means a lot to me, really.
The interractions were kinda "out of the blue", I though it was someone talking to himself at some point.
But the ending kind of made me "awww <3" so no biggies !
Thank you for playing and for your feedback. I wrote this novel mostly to see how well I do at all the steps to create a finished project, and where I need to get better, so I appreciate honest criticism. Writing dialogue and drawing characters were the hardest parts, so I will work on those for my next project.
With Melancholica, I basically started writing from the end, and wrote the scenes before to fit that. Which works well for mystery, but for slice of life, it is important to make the dialogue flow naturally. As a reader, I thought those scenes are mostly there to fill time between events, but actually they are just as hard to write as plot heavy scenes, if not more so.
So for my next big project, I'm trying my best to fix those issues. I hope I can show my progress here next year or so.
I can't say it was bad though, it just gave me a weird vibe. Like I really believed at some point that both protagonists were the same person and having a brain meltdown !
The drawing was cute also ~
I'm following what you do anyway - eager to see more ! :)
Interesting first Demo from you. I really liked it!